Haiti Blog

As you prepare to welcome a child into your home, it is important to consider the common behaviors of post-institutionalized children. If you have ever visited an orphanage or children's home, you will know that the living conditions there are much different from the typical American home. This is especially true for the nutrition and eating habits of children living in institutions.

When you bring your child back to your home, your first instinct might be to shower him or her with the foods that you and your family enjoy, but this can in fact be counterproductive. In the orphanage, your child probably became accustomed to a highly regimented diet and was fed the same things every day. Giving a newly adopted child access to a lot of food can be overwhelming, and the child might respond by becoming fixated with food as a way of coping (especially with junk food, which is nonexistent in institutions). During the initial period of adjustment, it is a good idea to recreate the regularity of mealtime that your child is familiar with by eating at the same time and having simple, similar meals every day. Over time you can start to introduce new foods and acclimate the child to your family's diet. It is also common for young children to have a hard time eating solid foods after being fed mush and porridge-like foods in orphanages. Because of this, give special attention to the texture of food if you are wondering why your child is resistant to eating.

Another consequence of institutionalization is hoarding in children––particularly common with food. In many orphanages, children are not always certain when the next meal is coming, and a strong fear of hunger can lead to food hoarding as a safety net. A good way to cope with this issue is by letting your child keep some nutritious snacks in a Ziploc bag. That way he can bring the bag to school and other activities with the comforting knowledge that it won't be taken from him.

Remember that your child might have had experiences that you don't know about while in the institution and she may react unexpectedly to parts of your daily routine that you consider normal. You can use this as a starting point to keeping track of how your child is dealing with nutrition and mealtime and don't forget to take note of any negative reactions.

Bibliography

Beard, Betty J. "Orphan Care in Malawi: Current Practices." Journal of Community    Health Nursing 22.2 (2005): 105-15. JSTOR. 19 July 2011.

Federici, Ronald S. "Raising the Post-Institutionalized Child Risks, Challenges and Innovative Treatment." Family Therapy For Childrens Learning Disabilities - Dr Federici. Web. 19 July 2011. http://www.drfederici.com/raising_child.htm

McGuinness, Teena, and Leona Pallansch. "Competence of Children Adopted from the Former Soviet Union." Family Relations 49.4 (2000): 457-64. JSTOR.

Purvis, Karyn, David Cross, and Jacquelyn Pennings. "International Adoption of Post-   Institutionalized Children: Implications for School Counselors." Texas Christian   University. Web. 19 July 2011.

Rogu, George. "Advice for Parents of Post Institutionalized Children." RainbowKids.com. 1 Nov. 2006. Web. 19 July 2011. http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=423.

Wilson, Samantha L. "Post-Institutionalization: The Effects of Early Deprivation on Development of Romanian Adoptees." Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal 20.6 (2003): 473-83. JSTOR. Web. 19 July 2011.

Did you know that the United States is one of only a few countries that formally recognizes and celebrates "Father's Day" as a holiday?  The common Haitian word for Father or Dad is: "Papa."

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to Dads and Dads- to- be!!!

The origin of "Father's Day" varies slightly but ultimately the purpose was to honor Fathers or Father-figures.  Some say it started with a woman in Washington state who wanted to honor her widowed father who raised her and her five other siblings since her mother died in childbirth.  Another story comes from West Virginia during a dedicated church service.  Like many traditions, we may never know... but this Sunday, we will honor, celebrate, and acknowledge men who are Fathers or Father-figures to children and adults.  Thank you to Dads everywhere!

Oftentimes (but not always) in the world of adoption, it is the Mother that prepares the paperwork, researches and educates on the subject of parenthood and adoptive parenting, nests the home, and develops a bond to the idea of an adopted child.  The maternal link of bonding and attachment pretenses this idea.  We do know, however, that there are many Fathers that are very much involved in the adoption process and preparing for the new child.

When it comes to birth parents, our focus is typically on the birth mother.  What about the birth father?  What is his role?  How do we talk to our children about him?  What are the cultural implications of his contribution?  What if we don’t know the circumstances… and does it matter?  Why is it that some adoptees don't think about their birth father, but rather only their birth mother? 

As adoptive families, we should be careful not to create a huge separation between the birth mother and the birth father.  We honor birth mothers but too often forget about birth fathers.  They too, contributed to the life of our precious child.  Regardless of the circumstances around the conception or birth of these children, we must find a way to talk about birth fathers.  This concept plays an important role in the child's perception of gender equalities, future relationships, the child's relationship with their adoptive father and their own perceptions and image.  Please remember, what we say about our children's birth parents ultimately is what we are saying about them. 

Tip:  Check with your employers to be sure that adoptive fathers are equally eligible for Adoption Leave, Paternal Leave, or FMLA.  It is just as important for Papas to have ample time to bond to their new child as it is for Mamans!